Poem: Mama
Ver 1
Mama,
I don’t yet understand.
It is agony to exist-
Every day is and
I don’t understand why
They say this is a blessing not a cruel command
but then why does it feel like a curse?
I do not want to hear these hymns,
Instead I yearn for the sound of your lullaby.
Mama,
What am I supposed to do?
The temple is cold
The floors are painful and the air is gold
I don’t understand why I must return-
and when i ask-
“Dont question the gods”
I am told
These memories of worship are now all I can keep
They say that I must forget you, escape your mould.
But mama, I still yearn for your hold.
Mama,
Where shall I go?
Our home is no longer for us.
There is someone else in our place and I dare not to fuss
Father has a new family, and i won’t adjust
I don’t speak to her, not until father does insist.
She is not my mother, but the tutors do not wish to discuss
“Do as you are told”
I am instructed, but Mama
Is this not treasonous?
Mama,
There is a place where I hide
And if only you were here, I would go there by your side
There is only one I trust
a man who has also been denied
He is like us, mama. He too is a prisoner like us.
And if only he would have me, I wish to be his bride
“Live for yourself first, little one”
He chides
But he could not hide his anger when one that night I had cried
If only you were here, mama. I would bring him to you
So you may see him in his glory
Lynx-eyed,
My home,
My safe fireside.
Mama,
Are you content?
Like you used to be with me in our moments spent?
I’m not, not always, but i think i will-
When my ears hear my beloved’s accent
When I feel his gentle, comforting intent.
Mama, I was not always content
But perhaps I am learning to be.
Wont you do the same?
Though I lost you to an accident
The snip of a thread not yet meant to be elysium sent
I wish to stay here for a moment longer,
Until his soul too must ascent
I am content mama, I am
Ver 2 (final)
Mama,
I don’t understand.
Is it not agony to exist?
It always is for me.
So why do they say this life is a blessing,
when it feels more like a cruel command.
Why does this life feel like a curse?
No longer do I want to hear these hymns,
Instead I yearn for the sound of your lullaby
(I may have been able to
if only your fate was not averse.)
Mama,
What am I supposed to do?
The temple is always cold
Where is the warmth of the gods?
The floors are painful and the air is gold
I don’t understand why I must return week after week after w-
and when i ask-
“Dont question the gods”
I am told
These memories of worship are now all I can keep
They say that I must forget you, escape your mold.
But mama,
I still yearn for your warm hold.
Mama,
Where can I go?
Our home no longer has room for us.
For me.
There is someone else in our place and I dare not to fuss
Father has a new family, i won’t-
can’t adjust
I don’t speak to her, mama
not until father insists.
She is not my mother, but no one listens.
The tutors say
“Do as you are told”
but Mama, what of your memory?
Is this not treasonous?
Mama,
There is a place where I go to hide
And if only you were here, I would go there with you by my side
There is only one person left that I trust
a man who has also been denied
Just like us-
-he is like us, mama.
And if only he would have me, I wish to be his bride
“Live for yourself first, little one”
He chides
But he could not hide his anger on those nights where I had cried
If only you were here, mama. I would bring him to you
So you may see him in his glory as I do-
Lynx-eyed,
My home,
Like a safe fireside.
Mama,
Are you still content?
Like in the moments we spent?
I’m not, not always, but i think i will be-
When my ears hear my beloved’s voice,
the nuances of his accent
When I feel his gentle, comforting touch and its kind intent.
Mama, I was not always content-
But perhaps I am learning to be.
Won’t you do the same?
Though I lost you to an accident
The snip of a thread not yet meant to be elysium sent
I wish to stay here for a moment longer,
Until his soul too must ascent
I am content now mama, I am
And if there was a wish I could ask of the gods-
It would be that you are too.